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Advent Day 24: Everything i wanted

If I knew it all then would I do it again?

Would I do it again?

Everything i wanted, Billie Eilish


This song has an almost hypnotic quality about it, and there’s so much that could be said about the meaning of the lyrics (the effects of fame etc.), but I’m going to completely ignore most of the song and just focus on these two lines that are so wonderfully haunting and thought-provoking.

The question Eilish poses is a fascinating one. I’m sure many of us have asked ourselves this question at different points in our lives. As I’ve been listening to this song on repeat, I’ve found myself thinking about Mary, the mother of Jesus. I realise that’s an odd connection but bear with me…

I wonder, when Mary stood there at the foot of the cross watching her beloved son die, whether she thought back to the day that angel Gabriel told her she would give birth to the Son of God. Did she think about those words she spoke in reply: “Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.” Did she ever regret her answer? Did she ever wish she’d rejected the opportunity to become the mother of the messiah?

I can’t help feeling that at the end of her life, as she looked back on all the pain and all the joy, she would have said, ‘Yes I would do it again. It was worth it. This is ‘Everything I wanted’. And this seems like a good place to conclude my ‘alternative advert’. Life is not easy. And choosing to follow Christ is not always an easy choice. But as I’ve been reflecting on the Christmas story this past month, I’ve been reminded yet again that Jesus really is everything I wanted, want, and could ever want.

And with that, I want to wish you all a very Merry Christmas and say thank you for reading my very advent reflections. I hope you enjoy celebrating tomorrow!


This is part of my LittlePonderings series: "Unseasonal Songs: An Alternative Advent in Song Lyrics". You can find out more here.

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